When Home Violence Walks Into Work: What Leaders Must Do (and Stop Doing)
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It’s also a reminder that what happens at home does not stay at home. Survivors bring the aftermath to our meetings, inboxes, and factory floors—because they’re human, not machines you can power-cycle between shifts. Domestic violence (DV) isn’t a “private matter” or an HR footnote; it’s a workplace safety, productivity, and equity issue.
The reality, without the euphemism:
Scale. In the U.S., more than 1 in 3 women and nearly 1 in 3 men experience physical violence, stalking, and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes (CDC NISVS). The CDC calls intimate partner violence “common and costly,” with impacts that ripple through health, work, and community life.
Spillover at work. Survivors report harassment on the job (calls, texts, surprise visits), missed shifts due to injuries or court dates, and reduced focus from chronic stress and sleep loss. Large employer surveys and federal research document widespread work disruption and lost productivity tied to DV. Office of Justice Programs+1
Safety. Homicide remains a leading cause of fatal workplace injuries for women, and DV-related threats and stalking frequently surface on company property or during work hours. Kentucky League of Cities
Bottom line: if you manage people, you manage DV’s consequences whether you acknowledge it or not.
What leaders often (unintentionally) do wrong
Pathologize the survivor. Labeling someone “unstable,” “unreliable,” or “not a culture fit” after DV-related absences or visible distress is discrimination risk and deepens harm. The EEOC has warned that employment actions tied to DV can intersect with sex discrimination and retaliation risks.
Outsource empathy to policy. Having an EAP brochure isn’t a response plan. Survivors need concrete flexibility and safety planning, not just a phone number.
Ignore the threat vector. Abusers use work as a control point: sabotaging transportation, hijacking childcare, weaponizing payroll info, or showing up on-site. If you haven’t mapped those risks, your workplace is porous.
What a responsible employer does…today:
Adopt (and socialize) a DV-at-work policy. Name DV, dating violence, sexual violence, and stalking. Clarify leave options (paid/unpaid), confidentiality, documentation standards, and non-retaliation. Use SHRM’s toolkits and “Workplaces Respond” templates to accelerate. Futures Without Violence New
Build safety plans, not just sympathy. Coordinate HR, security, legal, and the employee to: flag protective orders, adjust parking and schedules, filter harassing calls/emails, and notify reception of prohibited visitors. (Advocacy orgs offer planning checklists.) Futures Without Violence New
Lead with flexible leave and scheduling. Court dates, medical care, relocation, and counseling take time. Many survivors stay with abusers because of financial dependence; flexibility can literally be life-saving. Futures Without Violence New
Train managers like first responders (to disclosure). One calm, nonjudgmental conversation can keep someone employed and safer. Teach supervisors to:
Harden your systems. Protect addresses on paystubs; allow emergency payroll changes; add caller screening; restrict visitor access; coordinate with local law enforcement when appropriate.
Measure what matters. Track policy utilization, accommodations granted, and time-to-support after disclosure. Anonymize data; improve where lagging.
This isn’t just compassion, it’s risk management
Studies show double-digit percentages of employees report recent or lifetime DV, with measurable effects on attendance, focus, and job retention. Proactive policies reduce turnover costs, legal exposure, and safety incidents, while strengthening trust and belonging, the bedrock of performance. Office of Justice Programs+1
If you’re a survivor reading this
You don’t have to disclose at work to get help. You can start here confidentially, 24/7:
National Domestic Violence Hotline — 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or live chat at thehotline.org. Administration for Children and Families
StrongHearts Native Helpline (for Native American/Alaska Native communities): 1-844-7NATIVE (762-8483). StrongHearts Native Helpline
Workplaces Respond (for employers & advocates): tools to build policies and partnerships. Futures Without Violence New
If you’re a leader reading this
Your response can be the difference between stability and job loss, safety and escalation. Don’t wait for the “perfect” policy—ship a good one now, train your leaders, and refine with survivor-informed partners.
Share your story (optional)
For a forthcoming podcast episode centering survivor voices and effective employer responses, you’re invited to share experiences (anonymously or named). If you’d like to contribute, reply here with “Story: DV & Work,” and we’ll send a short, trauma-informed prompt list and consent form.
Work should be a place where people can earn, heal, and rebuild—not a place that looks away.
Sources & further reading:
CDC, “Fast Facts: Preventing Intimate Partner Violence”; CDC, NISVS (lifetime prevalence and impacts).
EEOC, “Questions and Answers: The Application of Title VII and the ADA to Applicants or Employees Who Experience Domestic or Dating Violence, Sexual Assault, or Stalking.”
SHRM, “Domestic Violence and the Workplace” toolkit.
Workplaces Respond (Futures Without Violence) employer resources. Futures Without Violence New
OJP study on IPV and the Workplace (prevalence & impacts among employed adults). Office of Justice Programs
If you want a one-page DV-at-Work policy template and a manager quick-guide you can customize for your org, say the word and I’ll draft both to fit your context. Email us, with, “DV-at-Work Policy” in the subject line.
